Ditch the Guilt: Find Peace & Balance as a Working Mum

Guilt is a powerful emotion many of us experience, especially working mothers. We often find ourselves in a cycle of guilt, feeling we aren't doing enough for ourselves, our families or our careers. Addressing and rewiring guilt is crucial for personal growth and well-being. It may seem unattainable, but we do need to get a handle on it, don’t we?

How to overcome mum guilt and find a better work-life balance.

Often, we feel guilt over numerous things even before breakfast. From forgetting to send a gift on time, missing a pay-date, to overlooking an important email or not giving our pets enough attention—the list can be endless, and it can feel exhausting!

Let’s look at mum guilt, by shedding light on what it is — a waste of energy.

After I had my third child, I went back to work after three weeks. Even though I was working from home, the logistical challenges were immense, however, what truly struck me was the profound, soul-crushing guilt.

• Why was my husband the primary caregiver of our children despite my lifelong dream of becoming a mother?

• How was my decision to return to work so quickly justified?

• How can I dedicate myself to endless Zoom calls, missing out on his earliest milestones?

Despite rationalizing the necessity of earning a living and the likelihood that my son wouldn't remember anything of this time, the nagging whispers of guilt persisted.

I felt dreadful.

---

Guilt isn't always bad. Healthy guilt can act as a moral compass, guiding us to make better decisions. However, prolonged guilt is damaging and can lead to mental health issues. According to a study published in the National Center for Biotechnology Information, guilt can trigger the brain's stress response system, affecting our mental health and daily functioning.

Prolonged feelings of guilt can lead to anxiety, depression, and even physical ailments. It can disrupt our sleep, reduce our ability to focus, and make us less present for our loved ones. Understanding the impact of guilt on our mental health is the first step in overcoming it.

---

I had to shift my perspective.

The time we invest in our careers, hobbies, and lives is important. Being devoted to our work doesn't make us a bad mother.

In my journey, I've discovered that seeking fulfilment beyond motherhood can make you a better parent. It offers opportunities to pursue your passions, make meaningful contributions, and be the best version of yourself for your child.

I recall my husband suggesting that laying the foundation and consistently working on my business when our child is so young is good timing. It would allow my business to grow alongside my child, shaping a balanced future for both.

Instead of being present at every playground visit when he was very young, I could focus on being there for him when he was a little older and required guidance on a deeper level.

This shift in perspective has proven invaluable as I navigate the complexities of balancing work and family life.

Whilst there were times filled with guilt, stress, tears, and restless nights, prioritizing quality time over quantity proved to be the winning formula.

Missing occasional school events or bake sales didn't leave lasting scars on my son, just as it won't harm your child. By embracing a holistic approach and setting inspiring examples, we become pillars of strength and motivation in our children's lives, leaving a lasting imprint of love and dedication.

If you're a mom yearning for a creative hobby or dreaming of starting a business but struggling to find time, remember, that your journey is part of shaping a brighter future for you and your child.

---

Have you ever wondered if there's more to success than wealth? Check out this post: Embrace Joy: Redefining Success for a Happier Life

---

Tips for managing guilt

Rewiring Guilt

Challenge negative thoughts by questioning their validity.

• Are you a bad mother for missing one event, or are you providing for your family through your hard work?

Recognizing what triggers guilt is essential for managing it. Consider keeping a journal of moments when you feel guilty.
Note the circumstances, the people involved, and your thoughts. This can help you identify patterns and common triggers.

For instance, you might feel guilty for missing a school event due to work. By identifying this trigger, you can take steps to address it, such as planning your schedule better or communicating your commitments more effectively.

Building a Guilt-Resilient Mindset

Self-compassion is crucial. Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend. Engage in self-care activities that rejuvenate your mind and body. Practising self-compassion can build a mindset resilient to guilt.

Incorporate daily practices like mindfulness and gratitude journaling to manage and reframe guilt. These practices can help you stay grounded and focused on the present moment, reducing feelings of guilt.

---

Need help with your daily dose of mindfulness? This can help: Mindful Crochet: How Crafting Can Help You Find Calm Amidst the Chaos

---

Setting Guilt-Free Boundaries

Set clear boundaries for work or hobby and family time. Communicate these boundaries with your family members.
Having guilt-free zones allows you to be fully present in each aspect of your life.

For instance, I found that setting aside dedicated family time on weekends and evenings helped me overcome guilt and improve my work-life balance. I also taught my girls how to crochet, so I can involve them more in what I do and they love the fact that they can access my yarn stash when they want to!

---

TIP: Consider the intersection of your aspirations and parenting journey. If your child expresses interest in participating, could you involve them in any way? Could you create a special corner for them in your office, studio, or workshop to make them feel involved? Whether stamping, packing, labelling, sorting out your yarn or even drawing ideas for your next pattern. How can you create a shared experience?

---

The key takeaway is that guilt can be managed and even eliminated with the right strategies.

Rewiring guilt is not an overnight process, but it is achievable. By understanding the nature of guilt, identifying its triggers, and employing effective strategies, you can find a better work-life balance.

I encourage you to start your guilt-recovery journey today. Share your experiences with me.

How do you do you create a work/life balance?

More inspiring posts